1.51 Eternal sleep** (see note at bottom)
I sit here with a packet of eternal sleep,
I am scared, frightened and alone,
I want to say my goodnights but can't.
Picking up my phone, I send a message,
My boyfriend rants at me, I can't say goodbye.
Looking at my phone, I think of my mother,
I can't bring myself to make that final call,
My eyes filled with tears, I know the fight is lost.
I wonder when I will pluck the strength to do it,
When would I have the courage to say "no more"?
It is a coward's escape into eternal sleep,
But I care not, I need to be where hurt is no more,
It is problem after problem, and I can't handle it.
I wish there could be another way, but I can't find it,
Maybe on the other side I might find the peace I long for.
***
Jamie Scott Watkinson-Harvey
** - this poem is written not from my own experience, but from the very final call that I received from my father
before he took his own life. I did not want to write it from his perspective, so I tried to apply it to him, but by using
my own life.
I am scared, frightened and alone,
I want to say my goodnights but can't.
Picking up my phone, I send a message,
My boyfriend rants at me, I can't say goodbye.
Looking at my phone, I think of my mother,
I can't bring myself to make that final call,
My eyes filled with tears, I know the fight is lost.
I wonder when I will pluck the strength to do it,
When would I have the courage to say "no more"?
It is a coward's escape into eternal sleep,
But I care not, I need to be where hurt is no more,
It is problem after problem, and I can't handle it.
I wish there could be another way, but I can't find it,
Maybe on the other side I might find the peace I long for.
***
Jamie Scott Watkinson-Harvey
** - this poem is written not from my own experience, but from the very final call that I received from my father
before he took his own life. I did not want to write it from his perspective, so I tried to apply it to him, but by using
my own life.