1.58 Guilty victim

The room is dark and I should not be here,
I know I came, but I do not want to be here.
Frightened, scared and trapped,
Confronted by a stranger, holding me against my will.
In the gloomy light, I can see his eyes burrowing deep,
His carnal lust tearing and boring into me,
I am completely terrified and feel very much alone.
Cries for help would be futile as the shimmering blade gently caresses my skin.
Sweat forms upon my brow and trickles down as my eyes glaze over,
He touches me, continues, my heart pounding and racing.
I beg for it to stop, swiftly muted as the hard metal pushes into my flesh.
A sickening feeling consumes me, I will never leave this room alive.
At times I frighten myself, why am I aroused?
Completely against my will, I cannot help myself.
I begin to feel dirty, awful and confused.
At times I wish he would plunge that blade into me,
I want to pull myself onto the blade to thrust it deep into me and make it stop.
When he concludes and tells me I am free to go,
Leaving me feeling ashamed, vulnerable and worthless.
I may have left with my life, but I am dead inside,
I blame myself, my lifestyle lead to this, I did this.
I am the guilty victim.

***

Jamie Scott Watkinson-Harvey